I haven't posted in my Bi-Polar II Journal for a while, because I have been able to take control of it for the most part. My vitamins, diet, and exercise has had me feeling great, even during my depression dips. I do have to say that it is weird (even to me) to say that I am happy during my depressions, but its true. I know I am in the depression because it becomes harder to find the motivation to exercise and I tend to be more quiet in general.
If you have been reading my Weight Loss Journals then you would know that I have been on a diet, created by me, and have been keeping track of my calorie burn/intake. I am finding that it is a lot harder to stay away from junk food when I am in my depression dip. Although I am not depressed or hate myself (quite the contrary, this is the first time in my life that I actually like myself), I am having a hard time avoiding the little things that make me happy like sugar and junk food. I am still keeping track of the calories, but it is hurting my diet even if I stay under my daily calorie intake of 1870.
I am not going to beat myself up over this though. I only lost 1 pound last week because of it, but at least it is a loss. I will just keep moving forward on my diet, because when I am normal and manic it is really easy to make healthy choices. With any diet, you need to give yourself some wiggle room to cheat from time to time. For me I know it will be during my depression dips. Since I am normal and manic more often then depressed during my Bi-Polar cycle, I know over all I will loose weight. I will never look like an underwear model, but at least I will be healthier then I am now and will be able to be active the way that I want to be.
With all choices we make in life, it is always more beneficial to look at things with a positive attitude and never give up. Although life is hard, it doesn't mean that you get to give up. Just because you slip, doesn't mean you're dead and as long as you can keep moving forward, then you will eventually reach your goals. Even if it takes longer then you expected. Everyone has their road blocks, one of mine just happens to be a chemical imbalance in my brain called Bi-Polar II. Learning to live with our road blocks and finding ways to get around them is what makes us strong individuals.
Keep an eye on my Weight Loss Journals and watch me shrink! Despite my road blocks! ;p
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