As you may have read in my last journal entry, I gave up alcohol for a couple of cycles to see if the odd occurrence of hypersexuality during the depression stage was a fluke or caused by alcohol. Well, I didn't have anymore problems for the second half of the depression stage so that is a positive sign. In the future I may have to avoid alcohol during my depression stages, unless I am with a woman that will satisfy the hypersexuality needs that the alcohol may cause. I was normal for the past two days and that was nice, it was good to be able to relax and calm my life down a bit as I prepare for my next manic stage.
In my preparations I was thinking of things, cheap things, that I can do to occupy my mind and keep it busy so I don't get bored and try to spend money I don't have. I am going to try the breathing and meditation techniques I mentioned in my previous journal entry on the last manic cycle. I also restarted my WOW (World Of Warcraft) account, I haven't played it in two years and never thought I would play again, but here I am reactivating it. I never took the game seriously when I played before and I won't take it seriously now. I use it as a distraction, a way of giving my mind something to concentrate on when I'm bored so that I don't go out looking for something to do. So far it has been working, but the real test will be over the next couple of days when I get full into my manic stage.
Since I have been mentally working hard at controlling my Bipolar II, I have also been thinking about other things about myself that I consider in need of stronger mental control. These are things I will start to work on and will get serious about controlling after I get better about controlling my Bipolar II. One of the things I want to control better is my eating. Even though I had a Gastric Bypass surgery which does great at keeping the amount of food I can eat low, I am still using food to make myself feel better by snacking too often. I want to only eat when I need to eat to sustain my energy and nutrition, not just eat because I am depressed or bored. Another thing I want to control better is my amount of exercise. I will work out (lift weighting, jogging, walking, biking, hiking, racquetball, etc...) erratically when I feel like it, but not on a normal schedule. This is probably the first thing I will work on because I will be using it to help control the hypersexuality in my manic stage. The last thing I want to work on is procrastination. I will put off things I should do because I am not in the mood. I want to be able to make myself do things that I want to get done when I have time to do it, not when I'm bored enough to get to it.
I know that I only listed three things to control. Although there are more things about myself I would like to fix, I think that fixing those main three will have a trickle down effect to the smaller things that I would like better control of. For example, my low self-esteem, my self image, my daytrading career, my smoking habit, my diet soda habit, etc...
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